Sweet lord, it's early...

I'm at the airport right now and have been up since about 430 am. This is retarded! However, I get to go see my brother and that makes me happier than I can tell you. I'm sitting next to some white trash dudes who have that icky, liquid smokers laugh. I used to smoke.. so, it's okay if I judge.

 I need this vacation. Badly.

Last Thursday, I lost my job. What? Thought my job was secure? Well, kids... nothing in life is secure. I was converting from a contract employee to a permanent position. In fact, I interviewed for a new position that would have had more responsibility and more pay. To do this, I had to go through the circus of their hiring process. Now mind you, I went through a background/employment check a year ago when I got hired for a contract employee position. This time, it was not so successful. I forgot to disclose 1 job I had over the summer that I ended up not taking. I had 1 orientation and due to whatever reason, I wasn't able to work this job. I didn't disclose.. truly due to lack of memory.. and was walked out of my job on Thursday. I take full responsibility for my actions. I didn't do what I was supposed to do.. however, being walked out in front of people I had worked with for over a year was humiliating to say the least. I was sobbing.. a mess. I just gave these people a year of my life and it was gone in an instant.

I say my life is sticky because it is... I lost my job. My Nana is coming home and transitioning into comfort care. My Mom is stressed..and life is more difficult than it has been in a while. However, this will not stop me from moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. I'm not entirely sure of said reason, but I have to trust that I will land on my feet, just like I always do.

Who knows.. I may find work in Orlando while I'm there...

xoxo, my friends.

Well, this ain't half bad...

Update!

Sorry I've been MIA, but life has gotten a little sticky.  My Nana is hanging in there, but she's pretty weak. She's fighting, but I don't think she knows what she's fighting for. There's a sense of obligation she has but her mind is fading... the reasons behind that obligation are far from clear to her. Hard to watch, kids.Hard to watch.

My work life is pretty rad right now. Something amazing is on the horizon but I don't want to jinx it until it's set in stone. If this works out the way it looks like it's going to, this fight will have been worth it. All the good vibes you can send my way would be appreciated. I need all the love I can get!

My ankles are swollen due to too much driving/sitting. /end random thought

Questions? Let 'er rip!

xoxo.

Well, ain't this a pile of shit.

So, things have taken a turn for the worse for my Nana. She initially went in because of intestinal/colon issues and was released last week. Yesterday, my mom ended up taking her back to the hospital. She was beyond weak, mentally confused and complained of burning in her stomach. They scanned her heart and her brain.. nothing. They take her blood.. dangerously low potassium levels along with some internal bleeding.

What the deuce.

She's not going to get better. I logically understand that this is life. It begins.. it ends. My heart has NO idea what to do with this. I'm mourning the loss of who she was and trying to learn who she is. I don't like it. It hurts more than I can express.

I'm trying to remember the good and funny things about her. How she can take the simplest common quote and screw it all up. ( Mija, get up early you eat the worms ) How she had a smile that would light up any room. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of her family. I remember on a trip to Marfa to visit her mother's grave, I played Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks and she was hootin' and hollerin' in the backseat of the car. How she used to dance with me. Taught me how to make tortillas and albondigas. She used to scratch my head and tickle my back. She powdered my booty after every shower. (she still laughs at me for that) She spoiled me. She loved me in a way that no one else could and for that, I'm the luckiest little girl in the world.

So, for now I keep going. I support and love her in the best way I can. I need to be there for my Mommy. I need to be there for me...

Sorry this post is so disjointed. I'm just so tired and sad I can't think straight..and I'm just processing...

Feeling Uneasy - Etta James

well, shit.

Slight shit is hitting the fan...

My Nana is in the hospital. This effing blows..

Ok, so I missed a few days..

Nothing much to report here. Halloween was interesting. The Boy and I went to a house party his friend threw. It was more of a house gathering, but was interesting nonetheless. A friend of theirs maybe didn't put together that The Boy and I are a couple as she told me that I should date him.

What?

We'd be cute together.


What what?

I had to break it to her that we've been together for 9 months. It's totally ok to think we'd make a cute couple. DERP.

Yesterday, I had some awesome times. At work, I was running a bit late, so I didn't take any breakfast with me. I thought I could hold out until my lunch, but I failed. I hopped my big booty over to the box buffet (vending machine) and eyeballed some delicious Strawberry Pop Tarts. Mmm... cold Pop Tarts and no milk! YUM! Anyhow, I must have done something retarded or the machine was crazy, but I selected my option and instead of Pop Tarts, I got salted peanuts. WTF. Salted peanuts? Does not want!

I deal with the peanut issue and later in the day I'm craving a Pepsi. Not a Coke, but an actual Pepsi. Once again, I mosey on down to the drink distributor, push the Pepsi button and get WATER. WTF, water??? You are not cool, universe. You basically told me my choices suck and gave me the better option. Damn you, good choices! DAMN YOU!

/end rant