Test :)

Sweet lord, it's early...

I'm at the airport right now and have been up since about 430 am. This is retarded! However, I get to go see my brother and that makes me happier than I can tell you. I'm sitting next to some white trash dudes who have that icky, liquid smokers laugh. I used to smoke.. so, it's okay if I judge.

 I need this vacation. Badly.

Last Thursday, I lost my job. What? Thought my job was secure? Well, kids... nothing in life is secure. I was converting from a contract employee to a permanent position. In fact, I interviewed for a new position that would have had more responsibility and more pay. To do this, I had to go through the circus of their hiring process. Now mind you, I went through a background/employment check a year ago when I got hired for a contract employee position. This time, it was not so successful. I forgot to disclose 1 job I had over the summer that I ended up not taking. I had 1 orientation and due to whatever reason, I wasn't able to work this job. I didn't disclose.. truly due to lack of memory.. and was walked out of my job on Thursday. I take full responsibility for my actions. I didn't do what I was supposed to do.. however, being walked out in front of people I had worked with for over a year was humiliating to say the least. I was sobbing.. a mess. I just gave these people a year of my life and it was gone in an instant.

I say my life is sticky because it is... I lost my job. My Nana is coming home and transitioning into comfort care. My Mom is stressed..and life is more difficult than it has been in a while. However, this will not stop me from moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. I'm not entirely sure of said reason, but I have to trust that I will land on my feet, just like I always do.

Who knows.. I may find work in Orlando while I'm there...

xoxo, my friends.

Well, this ain't half bad...

Update!

Sorry I've been MIA, but life has gotten a little sticky.  My Nana is hanging in there, but she's pretty weak. She's fighting, but I don't think she knows what she's fighting for. There's a sense of obligation she has but her mind is fading... the reasons behind that obligation are far from clear to her. Hard to watch, kids.Hard to watch.

My work life is pretty rad right now. Something amazing is on the horizon but I don't want to jinx it until it's set in stone. If this works out the way it looks like it's going to, this fight will have been worth it. All the good vibes you can send my way would be appreciated. I need all the love I can get!

My ankles are swollen due to too much driving/sitting. /end random thought

Questions? Let 'er rip!

xoxo.

Well, ain't this a pile of shit.

So, things have taken a turn for the worse for my Nana. She initially went in because of intestinal/colon issues and was released last week. Yesterday, my mom ended up taking her back to the hospital. She was beyond weak, mentally confused and complained of burning in her stomach. They scanned her heart and her brain.. nothing. They take her blood.. dangerously low potassium levels along with some internal bleeding.

What the deuce.

She's not going to get better. I logically understand that this is life. It begins.. it ends. My heart has NO idea what to do with this. I'm mourning the loss of who she was and trying to learn who she is. I don't like it. It hurts more than I can express.

I'm trying to remember the good and funny things about her. How she can take the simplest common quote and screw it all up. ( Mija, get up early you eat the worms ) How she had a smile that would light up any room. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of her family. I remember on a trip to Marfa to visit her mother's grave, I played Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks and she was hootin' and hollerin' in the backseat of the car. How she used to dance with me. Taught me how to make tortillas and albondigas. She used to scratch my head and tickle my back. She powdered my booty after every shower. (she still laughs at me for that) She spoiled me. She loved me in a way that no one else could and for that, I'm the luckiest little girl in the world.

So, for now I keep going. I support and love her in the best way I can. I need to be there for my Mommy. I need to be there for me...

Sorry this post is so disjointed. I'm just so tired and sad I can't think straight..and I'm just processing...

Feeling Uneasy - Etta James

well, shit.

Slight shit is hitting the fan...

My Nana is in the hospital. This effing blows..

Ok, so I missed a few days..

Nothing much to report here. Halloween was interesting. The Boy and I went to a house party his friend threw. It was more of a house gathering, but was interesting nonetheless. A friend of theirs maybe didn't put together that The Boy and I are a couple as she told me that I should date him.

What?

We'd be cute together.


What what?

I had to break it to her that we've been together for 9 months. It's totally ok to think we'd make a cute couple. DERP.

Yesterday, I had some awesome times. At work, I was running a bit late, so I didn't take any breakfast with me. I thought I could hold out until my lunch, but I failed. I hopped my big booty over to the box buffet (vending machine) and eyeballed some delicious Strawberry Pop Tarts. Mmm... cold Pop Tarts and no milk! YUM! Anyhow, I must have done something retarded or the machine was crazy, but I selected my option and instead of Pop Tarts, I got salted peanuts. WTF. Salted peanuts? Does not want!

I deal with the peanut issue and later in the day I'm craving a Pepsi. Not a Coke, but an actual Pepsi. Once again, I mosey on down to the drink distributor, push the Pepsi button and get WATER. WTF, water??? You are not cool, universe. You basically told me my choices suck and gave me the better option. Damn you, good choices! DAMN YOU!

/end rant

Halloween Spirit and Getting Old

Our office is having a dress up contest today. I had no time to get a costume, so I came as Throwback Shelly. I'm dressed up as a goth. It's a reference back to my old Rocky Horror days!

I fell asleep at 7pm last night on accident. I went to chill out and play some Price Is Right on Facebook and I woke up when my dogs were fighting in my room around 1130. I stayed up for about an hour and then went back to sleep and got up at 445am.  It's been a non-productive day thus far, but I'm super rested. That's always a good thing.

SO.. in other news, The Boy and I are headed out of town in 2 weeks. We're going to Knott's Berry Farm! I haven't been there since I was a kid and it's a helluva lot cheaper than Disneyland. Plus, I'm going to Disneyworld at the end of November with my brother and Pops. I didn't want to over do the sickeningly awesome Disney thing. I'm going to spend Turkey Day in Florida and hope that I don't get stuck in a damn Hurricane. 

I've got nothing interesting to talk about this morning. Give me time.. something will come up.

Kids really do say the darndest things..

Theatre is great. Theatre kids are hilarious. Here's why:

I wanted 2 of my leads to build a strong relationship, so a majority of last night was spent letting them talk to each other about outside things, feelings.. that sort of crap. There was was conversation from last night that had me dying and almost ROFLOLing.

S (who is 14) : If my girlfriend cut off all of her hair, I wouldn't break up with her. I like her that much, so it wouldn't matter.

K (who is 10) : Yeah. It doesn't matter what you look like, it's who you are on inside.

Me: You guys are amazing! I love it!

K: I know I'm only 10, but I have a story to tell you.

Me: Alright, spill yer guts.

K: I had a girlfriend not too long ago and I really liked her. We broke up and it was awful. Do you want to know why we broke up? I'll tell you. She was dating another guy 2-3 weeks before we broke up! It was awful. I hated it.

Me: Oh noes! I'm so sorry that happened to you. ( Internal monologue: WTF! This kid is talking about dating and he's only 10. Holy Shitballs.)

S: Dude, this stuff is going to happen to you when you get older. Trust me, I've been there. You'll be fine.

K: Well , it hurts when you have a big heart.

Me and D: Awww.. oh ... awwwwwww....


What? It hurts, you say? OMG! Your poor little tender, big, 10 year old heart.


Other conversations consisted of guessing my age (50), watching kids talk about spacers in their mouths  (watching one little girl show everyone her spacer by opening her mouth super wide and tilting her head back), the older kids trying to figure out if they are all related so they can create a "super family" and finally the smallest , most adorable girl telling me she wasn't going to read certain parts of the script because she didn't feel like it. She was so cute, I had to let her! Total sucka!!

That's the cutest thing thus far. More funnies to come later...

Wow. I am good with children.

So, last night was my first full rehearsal with my cast of the Littlest Angel. I had no idea how these kids would behave for me.. little angels? Little devils from beyond? The possiblities were endless. It turns out, they were AMAZING. We had to hold a little baby audition because we lost some kids (no, not like lost them at the State Fair and had to call their parents, but they dropped out)  and had to restructure the roles. They were such troopers. My cold heart was warmed by their commitment to this show. Many of them came to me and told me how happy they were to be there. What!!?? Thankful children, you say? I say YES! Amazballs.

I'm sitting here at my place of work not really working, but thinking about what I would rather be doing. Here's a list, in case you were wondering:

-Laundry ( I like clean clothes)
-Sleeping ( fo sho)
-Hanging with The Boy.. I kinda miss him.
-Jamming out to Cake (wait a minute, I'm doing that at work!)
-Actually going to the gym (I hate it when I'm there, but I feel so damn good when I'm done)
-Pondering how the price of tea in China is affected by the recent mild earthquake.
-Picking my nose. I have boogs the size of China.
-Shopping for makeup.

Apparently, I'm a boring old lady.

I need to get a life. Seriously.

Ok, my dear readers.. all 4 of you.. what would you like to hear about today?

Comments are welcomed and appreciated!

Learning how to be patient can suck it

I realize the importance of being patient. I really do. I also understand the reality that I don't have that gene. Truly. I'm so effing impatient that it annoys me to take the time to let the water warm up when I get in the shower. Most people don't like the feeling of freezing cold water on their cheeks (butt or face) first thing in the AM. The great thing? Yeah.. when I get in the shower and it's freezing, I get mad. What? Yeah. WTF. I know it's going to be cold, but apparently I'm too stubborn and impatient to to wait. So, my cheeks get slapped with cold pin-like water drops from my awesome shower head and I, in turn, am mad. Great way to start my day!

I have no patience for this blog right now. Guh.

I hate my dogs

I wrote this awesome post about my anniversary dinner last night, but didn't post it. Why, you ask? Well my fucker dogs decided to hop all over my laptop and erase said post before I could actually post the most entertaining and provocative post yet. (did I say post?)

Not really, but those dogs did erase the post.

The short of it? The boy and I celebrated our 9 month anniversary yesterday. Yes, I still count months because it's cute and I enjoy it. Shut your piehole. We went for a fabulous dinner at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen where we ate like kings and had oysters, shrimp, catfish ,dirty rice and other accoutrement's.  The boy was a champ and ordered this brownie of death and ate about a quarter of it before he almost exploded. I had a banana pudding that I almost died over. It was pretty rad. I'm pretty sure I had a foodgasm (unlike the one Meg Ryan and her old mouth had in When Harry Met Sally, but my very own personal moment). After we stuffed ourselves silly, we went back to his house and just chilled. All and all, it was a good night!

Up next, Hoo Hoo Dilly and I attempt to not die at the gym before we eat a balanced Weight Watchers meal. Yep. Trying to knock off some of this fluff before the holidays come around so I can just pack on the lbs again. What? Yeah. Whatever.

I will pump you up + randoms = pumped randoms up yours

Feel the burn? I almost threw up because of said burn at the gym today. HOLY EFFING GOD OF WHORES was that hard. Seriously. Barf.

*whew* Glad that's out of the way.

I've had a few days of total chaos this week. I've done pretty well for the most part, but there's something on my mind that I'm hoping that you, my dear readers, can help me decipher.

WHY ARE PEOPLE IDIOTS??

I realized that maybe the caps lock key wasn't necessary, but it felt right..

I've dealt with some extraordinarily dumb people this week. Like the type of people where you wonder how they get out of bed in the morning. Or, how they don't slip and fall in the shower and don't have a life alert system to call out for help... I'm stupid and I fell down. I can't get up! I digress..

It never fails to shock me how people are incapable of making decisions for themselves and wait for someone else to do it for them. Then, these idiots get resentful of the people with the balls to make the decision. WTF. Seriously.. don't get it.

Another thing I don't get.. why can't people wait to make sure that what they flush in the bathroom actually goes down the shitter?? Do you really think I want to park my ass on the pearly white throne  in my favorite stall when your residuals are still there? When you take up my favorite stall and mess it all up, it messes up my day. I'm a creature of habit. I like the same stall at the same time every work day. Your dumpy ass screws with that, my day is shot.

UGH. My ambien is kicking in. No more typie typie for me.

zomg

What has my life come to? I'm excited that it's Friday because it's JEANS DAY at work.

When the eff did I become a boring adult?

On a side note, I started working out again. I have a love/hate relationship with the gym. I love how I feel when I'm done, but I can't stand working out. Like.. it makes me mad. Not because it's hard. It's because I turn bright red and sweat like a whore in church. Seriously. Crazy. MAD. Not that you need to know this, but I mention it because it hurts to type right now. My arms and pectorals are on fire. Woot. Ouch.

I'm going to start posting some Video Blogs soon.. aka.. Vlogs. (not like you didn't know that..) Watch out world, I'm going to jam out with my clam out.

Commence with your day accordingly.

Random work findings

So, I work in corporate america and find some hilarious habits/things that occur not only by myself, but many others.

-Prairie Dogging : When someone makes a noise or has food, everyone pops up out of their cubes like prairie dogs to see wtf is going on

-Going to the bathroom is a particularily special affair. You have to find the right stall, make sure no one can hear you and pee as quickly as possible for fear you might fart or do something else unsavory.

- Watching what you say: When you have to be PC, it's totally easy to make EVERYTHING inappropriate.

- Anyone can turn awful office chairs into Barcaloungers.

- Every office has a Milton, Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.

I think that's the gist of it, but there is just funny shit that happens all of the time! Man.. this is some good shit..

I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore..

It's okay if you don't... I'm not the most consistent blogger in the world. I'm just starting to feel this need to .. blog. I know, I know.. I say this every so often, but this time something feels different. I'm feeling more creative and grounded at the same time. Who knew such things could happen! Ha.

I'm directing a children's CHRISTMAS show (not holiday show) for Theater Works starting Monday. We've already got the cast together and my friend Dana is my SM. (Not sado-masochist, but Stage Manager, you perverts.. or proverts, since you're good at being pervs) My wonderful friend Chris Hamby has yet again given me an amazing opportunity to do what I do best and I can't thank him enough for it..


So, this blog will be up and running more now that it has been in the past. I haven't posted here in 3 years, soooo it's time to bring this motha-effa to life!

Enjoy the archived posts. I'm a riot when ya piss me off!

Lurve.

Rockin' Gay Cabaret

RANT

Who do you think you are?

I mean really.

You are so fucking afraid of yourself. It was kind of funny to start with, but now.. it's just annoying. You talk yourself up like you're some sort of big deal, and really you're a scared little boy who can't connect with anyone. You're afraid to get hurt. What you're failing to realize is that you cannot control other people's destiny. Not everything is going to fit into the box that you think it should.

You make me angry. Frustrated. You're giving me an ulcer.


STOP IT.

And yes, this is about you.

What time is it?

It's about that time.

I had a dream about Big last night. I woke up this morning with something close to a broken heart. I've done so well with putting that to rest, but apparently I'm not done processing.

I'm trying to move forward.. move on.. but I loved this man. With everything that I had. In my dream, we were lying in bed. Talking like we used to. He told me that his life was back in order, and he missed me. He loved me. He was sorry.

Then I asked why he came back, and he gave me the same shit he always has. "Things are crazy. I don't even want to get into it."

/le sigh

I know nothing has changed. Someday soon, it will not hurt. Someday, it will just.. stop.

Just not today.

Shop Shop Shop

OMG.

I spent $350 in a matter of 10 minutes. Seriously.

Here's what was purchased:

DVD/VHS Combo - Mom
2 shirts - Mom
4 CD's (2 Il Divo, Josh Groban, Teddy Pendergrass) - Mom
Digital Picture Frame - Dad
Digital Coffee Cup- Dad
2 PC games (Bejewelled and some other mind game)- Mom
2 PC games (Ringtone Maker and Restaurant Tycoon)- ME!
X-men Trilogy - ME!
Random Foods for Baskets- All


Seriously. I can shop.

More soon!